Embracing the liminal space

In my previous post (Tagged with Infertility), I wrote about the feeling of being stuck or trapped in-between the ‘normal’ stages of life. In the last couple of days I have been reflecting some more on the nature of this liminal space or in other words; being in limbo. It’s painful, yes, but what I didn’t realize at first is that it’s also something else. It’s a transformational space – a process of becoming. In fact, there is no pause button in life. Only, I do not know where the becoming is going so to speak.

But I know that the liminal phase will end at some point, one way or another. Either I will become a mother and enter that life stage with the identity and role of parenthood. Or alternatively I will not become pregnant and we will eventually have to stop trying and learn to accept, and live with, childlessness. This experience is changing me forever either way and I realize that I have to embrace that.

Inwardly I’m being transformed. I don’t know exactly how and what it will mean for the next life stage and what that stage will even look like. But I do not want to be a mere passenger or passive observer of this process of becoming. Liminality is a space characterised by uncertainty, ambiguity, disorientation and isolation – as described by the famous Anthropologist Victor Turner. One’s sense of identity dissolves to some extent which is painful, but it also entails possibilities for new perspectives to emerge. A time to reflect and grow.


4 responses to “Embracing the liminal space

  1. Pingback: Seeing a tiny little heart beating | Close Encounters with Fertility Treatment

  2. I’m going to have to go and read Victor Turner now. So true about transformational spaces entailing pain and loss, before growth.

    Before we started ivf officially , we went to a workshop for managing anxiety in cycles . The woman next to me was lovely, and she talked to me about how all the challenges of ivf would make her a much more patient parent. I often think about that, when I feel stuck.

    Loved your post.

  3. Pingback: Looking back on a long journey | Close Encounters with Fertility Treatment

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