It amazes me how a break in fertility treatment seems to push the difficult feelings associated with infertility to the background as well. We have been waiting to start the IVF process since the end of August when the last IUI cycle was over. Slowly your focus changes to other things and a sense of normality reappears. Hence why I have not been very active writing here on my blog.
I’m enormously thankful that we have the opportunity to do fertility treatment and I’m impatient to get started with IVF, but I also realize that going through treatment makes you focus so intensely on your infertility that it greatly increases the pain of it. Having a break certainly does feel soothing for mind, body and soul!
To some extent it makes me wonder what is most difficult to deal with – the fertility treatment or the infertility itself. Obviously the experience of both are closely intertwined, but I suspect that the situation you are in when going through fertility treatment plays a decisive role in shaping the experience of infertility. It makes it more difficult and distressing, but it also gives you something which you would not have without treatment. Namely hope.
Hope is what I feel as we wait to get started with IVF now in October. The prospect of moving on with IVF invigorates the hope of having a baby, because it represents trying something else and something different – something which, at least statistically, represents a much bigger chance of success than IUI.