The process has begon. In my heart I always believed that somehow we would avoid IVF. That somehow I would get pregnant without such drastic intervention. Since nobody could tell us what caused our infertility we just kept waiting and hoping for a miracle. But none came and time is running out. Yesterday we picked up all the medication for the first IVF cycle. Seeing the boxes stacked up on the pharmacy counter brought it home to me. The reality of it all. That I am going to have to inject myself with all those hormones to mature lots of follicles. That these follicles have to be taken out and then (hopefully) fertilized in a lab instead of inside me. And that if we end up with more embryos then one (which we hope for), they will be frozen down for later use if needed. It’s all so surreal.
It pains me that it is nevertheless real and happening to me, but on the other hand I’m also happy and excited to finally get on with this process, which represents new hope for us. Mixed feelings. As we embark on IVF I feel both incredibly sad and incredibly thankful.