A little bit pregnant… maybe…

So this was the big day. My official test day where I was instructed to come in for a blood test. 14 days after egg retrieval or, in other words, 11 days after the 3rd day transfer. The day we would finally get to know.

I did as instructed this morning and then we waited for the call. I had been going over the two possible answers again and again in my head. Hopeful of one and fearful of the other. What I did not expect was a third possibility. The nurse did not say the words I have dreamt of for so long: “Congratulations, you are pregnant”. Neither did she utter the words I feared: “I’m sorry, you are not pregnant”. Instead it was some kind of explanation about a low hCG level and that they would like me to come back for another blood test in a week.

I can hardly remember what she said precisely, because my mind just stopped. It took a while for me to realize that what she was actually saying was that we have a ‘weak’ positive on our hands. The hCG level was 42 mIU/ml and to be a clear positive they would like to see 150 mIU/ml. I also remember that she instructed me to keep taking my progesterone and said that it could be that it is just a bit slow. But it could also be that something is wrong.

After a bit of google searching, we have concluded that this result probably indicates that I am a little bit pregnant, so to speak. It would seem that hCG levels vary a lot from woman to woman in early pregnancy and that 42 mIU/ml on day 14 after retrieval could potentially be fine. So we are allowing ourselves to become happy – slowly. But we are also weary. Do we dare to embrace it?

This is yet another surprise twist to our seemingly endness journey which we could certainly have done without. But at the same time I’m thankful. I would take a weak positive over a negative any day!!

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10 responses to “A little bit pregnant… maybe…

  1. Oh gosh, am keeping toes and fingers crossed for you. I would let yourself be happy. I’ve just spent the past 18 weeks guarding my emotions and not daring to let myself be happy, and it is just silly really. Best for us all to enjoy any glimmers of positivity – even if ultimately things dont continue as we so hope. After all this time and attempts we should allow ourselves even momentary happiness! Hoping very much that the signs get stronger. My initial test was a VERY pale line on a stick….

  2. The suspense! I can’t stand it! 🙂 I’m sending you guys good thoughts!

  3. I wish you much luck and it is bond, that threw this you will see your first child. Keep the faith the babies on it’s way!

  4. This whole process seems to be designed to torture us, like one of those ultra suspenseful movies! So glad you’re “a little bit pregnant” and hoping and praying that that number just keeps shooting upwards. Lots of love xx

  5. *Everything crossed for you*

    Hopefully the wait for the next test doesn’t feel too long. Sending good thoughts and busy thoughts your way.

  6. I know…it sucks. You wait for the positive pregnancy result and even then, you test and wait, you retest and wait….you wait, you wait. The anxiety builds…..it is pure torture. Hopefully it is a late implanter….
    I always just revel in the fact that I ever received a BFP….that is a success in itself!

  7. I hope that your results come through for you!

  8. Good luck! I would feel the same way you do – you want to hope, but not too much. I wish you the best results!

  9. I am going through the same thing right now. I had an hcg of 82.. I got “You are pregnant! BUT..Its 82. BUT, we are testing you a day early and FETs are usually a bit slower than fresh, so, you are definately pregnant. We are cautiously optimistic”. I am in more of a tailspin. Not so much cautiously optimistic. I am setting my blog to private for a short while until we figure out if we are really pregnant or not, so please comment back so I can send you an invite!

    • I hope the best for you! I know it’s nerve wracking. But keep the faith! 82 does not sound bad – what day (dpo) did you have the test? And when are you having a second test? As I have learned researching hCG levels, it’s all about the rise rather than what the number is per say. Apparently hCG levels can very widely in early pregnancy. I found this hCG tool very useful: http://www.babymed.com/tools/hcg-calculator
      According to that, 82 would be average if the test was done on say 15- 16dpo. But again what matters is how much hCG increases.

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