On Living and non-Blogging

Almost a year has passed since I last blogged. As I hesitantly click ‘new post’ and start writing, I wonder why, since my son was born, I have paid only very infrequent visits to my own and other’s spaces in our shared blog-world. Much less even attempted to do any writing. The obvious reasons are of course to do with things like lack of time, energy etc., but then I see that many of you have managed to continue blogging after having babies. So why not me? I guess the real reasons behind my non-blogging is to be found somewhere else. Part of it is quite possibly to do with the fact that I never intended to write a parenting blog and still have no desire to do so. But there is something else, some other underlying issue more significant still.

Although I can’t quite put my finger on it, it seems that from the moment our precious son was born, I started living differently and it is this different mode of living that somehow resists being written about. For me life with a child is living mostly in the now. Like an amazing, exhilarating, sometimes absolutely exhausting, but always joyous roller coaster ride. For me life with a child is constant movement, one moment taking the next, today flowing into tomorrow as you barely notice any distinction between the two. All the while you see and experience with great intensity the changes that are evident for every new day. The growing. The develpments. A person coming into being like a beautiful flower opening slowly revealing all its glory. It’s like life is moving both incredible fast and standing still at the same time. I thought I would be documenting everything . If not here on my blog, at least in a baby book or something. You know, writing down when he did this or that etc. I haven’t written anything down. I have just lived it, felt it, experienced it. I both remember it all and don’t remember any of it. It’s written in my heart in a kind of non-specific way that defies representation. I can’t write about parenthood. It just is for me. It vibrates, it is living.

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3 responses to “On Living and non-Blogging

  1. Bachelor's button

    I’m just the same. I live parenthood and can only write about the fertility battle. I think it’s also something to do with it being his life and a feeling that i have no right to write about it somehow. It’s okay to share my life on a blog, but his, in all its wonder, is his. Xx

    • Yes you are absolutely right – I didn’t think about that aspect of it. That is definitely part of it for me as well, it’s all about his life not mine. xxx

  2. Yes totally same for me. Loved writing about IF and MC and adoption wait but parenthood is so intense …. I do not have the time to sit and take distance and write about it. Although there are many things about parenting and child development I wonder about … I would love to communicate about it and receive different views and opinions from fellow readers. hmmm maybe I should pick it up again ? Nice meeting your blog anyway !! and happy parenting to you !!

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